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IT HAD TO HAPPEN, IT HAPPENED.
" All things exist in Consciousness. All things flow from Consciousness. All things are Consciousness. Consciousness is all there is." Since I first came across these words in Ramesh Balsekar's book: 'Consciousness Speaks', my life has and will never be the same again. Every concept and perception that I previously had of life has been smashed to smithereens. Totality Consciousness, or as some would refer to it as The Absolute, Primal Energy, The Source, God, by whatever name one may call it, is all there is. On one level I had heard and read words similar to this, often, over the years, and yet somehow the deeper significance of these words, as Ramesh would say, 'happened ' spontaneously, after coming across Ramesh's books, and teachings of non dualism. The 'bubble' of my 'personality' burst and, what I thought was 'me' has been drowning slowly ever since.To know intuitively that there is nothing I can do, or not do, to make enlightenment (whatever that is) happen has lifted a heavy load, I did not know I carried, from my shoulders. There is nothing to seek, nothing to do. I am already 'that', which I am seeking. 'The Final Truth' also written by Ramesh Balsekar says: " All efforts made by a supposed entity only lead to frustration. It is only effortless effort (passive witnessing) along the pathless path (pure understanding without a 'me' as the comprehender) which lead to the goalless goal (That which has always been, here and now)." Passivity, and Acceptance have never been easy for this 'body-mind organism' commonly referred to as ' Maria Jory'. 'Doing' and 'Achieving' have been more the order of the day. 'Who' is there to achieve and 'What ' is there to achieve? All there is, is Consciousness. Consciousness, or the Source, operating through the 'body-mind organism' which I have been calling 'my self ', it has never been 'me' orchestrating my life, but Consciousness operating through me all along.
Ramesh says: " The Buddha's teaching's can be summed up in these words ' Events happen, deeds are done and there is no individual doer thereof". All religions advocate the prayer 'Thy will be done'. Everything that happens, therefore, had to happen according to the divine plan, which unfolds perfectly for each and every sentient vehicle of consciousness. The 'sense' of drowning, which I have been feeling, comes from the feeling of utter powerlessness as the conditioned appearance of old beliefs of individual power slip away effortlessly, without 'choice'. Previous 'aids' are powerless as this torrent of 'oblivion' rushes past, sweeping every erstwhile appearance of individual form into oblivion. And yet, 'who' is there to be made oblivious?
'Witnessing' the 'happening' of events and knowing that this 'body-mind organism' has not initiated them has been difficult to digest. A gradual surrender, without it appears any conscious 'choice' of surrender, appears to be happening. And yet any thought of surrender implies being in dualism. Ramesh Balsekar says: " The word ' surrender' is used where there is a duality between 'me' and God. When this surrender happens, this will, which we think of as ours drops off, and there is total acceptance that all that prevails is His Will." 'IT HAD TO HAPPEN, IT HAPPENED' is the explanation I give myself with every event in everyday life. There is nothing to do to make it easier - no spiritual practise can help this total surrender happen. 'Who' is there to surrender and to 'whom? " Consciousness, or the Source is all there is". These words are emblazoned on my mind, a constant, unspoken, involuntary thought or mantra just present.
Any perceived 'action' of this body-mind organism, appears to be more of a 're-action' to outside circumstances totally out of my control. The outside circumstances are out of my control and 'my' reaction to these outside circumstances, and the consequences of my reactions to these circumstances, are also out of my control. Our reactions are due to our genetic disposition and conditioning. Ramesh Balsekar says our 'conditioning' can be 're-conditioned' with new concepts, but the genetic disposition remains, even if 'one' reaches the state of self-realisation. The only difference being, the Sage is totally aware that there is no individual doer of any actions. As Ramesh says:" The Sage lives in dualism as opposed to duality and is not affected by the inter-connected opposites, whereas the ordinary man does not accept duality and the inter-connected opposites as the basis of life as we know it. " Scientists are also now coming to the conclusion that our genes from the moment of birth, or conception even, are programmed, and that the potential sicknesses of our life can be predicted.
The resistance and difficulty of being able to completely digest this cathartic concept resulted initially in indigestion and stomach cramps. Metaphysically, it suggested 'fear', I'd say with extremely valid reason. This 'me' that I thought ' I ' was, is not the real 'I'. This body-mind organism that I have identified with ever since I can remember is only a 'vehicle of consciousness'. Eating happens, sleeping happens and all the daily activities happen, even this writing is 'happening', and as the Buddha says, there is no individual doer thereof. On occasions the flow 'happens' and life is smooth. Watching and passively witnessing the perfect unfolding of every detail is awesome. At other times 'resistance happens' and the cramps and churning in my stomach is a reminder how difficult it can be to digest these Advaita teachings of non-dualism.
Struggling against the flow of life destroys peace. Passivity and acceptance does not mean, total inaction. Realising and reminding myself that events happen and there is no individual doer, in practice means: doing what I have to do in every situation as effectively as always. The only difference is the knowledge and continuing awareness that as a vehicle of consciousness, or the source, events are happening through me and not by me. The cause and effects or the consequences of these actions however, will still be there. The initial thought that makes me act or should I say react, comes from consciousness, or the source. As Ramesh Balsekar says: " getting caught up in this original vertical thought, horizontally, is the mind, which creates problems." When I spontaneously follow this vertical thought of and from consciousness or the source, without getting caught up in it horizontally, I am able to witness the perfection of the divine plan unfold.
A situation occurred when I was travelling with a friend to Ramana Maharshi's ashram in Tiruvanamalai, in India, which was a perfect example of this awareness of 'consciousness, or the source, in thought and action'. As we were driving along on our journey in a hired car, I suddenly had a strong smell of something burning. I asked the driver to stop and check the car. He looked under the bonnet and found a rag that had been left in the car, which had recently been painted, with some sort of inflammable liquid on it. He threw the rag on the pavement and it burst into flames. All of this took ten to fifteen seconds at the most. Where did this vertical thought to check the car come from? The burning smell was not there earlier. The rag had not taken long to get ignited. A few seconds later and the car would have blown up with us in it. It obviously wasn't our destiny to die then. The thought was there and it resulted in spontaneous action - Consciousness, or the source, in thought and action. 'It had to happen, it happened' .
Ramesh says: "However much we think and believe we're living our lives, the fact of the matter is our lives our being lived." The ego is never happy with such a statement. 'Who' is the ego? It is often said that the ego and the world is unreal, Ramana Maharshi said: " All religions postulate the three fundamentals: individual, God and the world. It is only so long as the ego endures, that one says either, ' The One manifests Itself as the three' or 'The three are really three'. The supreme state is to inhere in the Self, the ego extinguished" But even the extinguishing of the 'ego' is not in our hands. It will happen if and when it is our destiny to happen. Even the striving to achieve realisation is 'ego'. Any striving or goal is the 'ego' fooling itself that 'it' can achieve something by 'itself'. I can hear some of you gulping as I did when I first heard these concepts. All of my life has been about achievements and goals. It does not mean I have to be apathetic and not do anything. I continue my life as I did before the only difference is the continuous awareness that there is no individual doer of any actions. Within dualism the discussion about free will versus predestination will continue. Even in terms of duality, Ramesh says: "Act as if you have free will, knowing there is only God's will." In terms of non-dualism however, 'who' is there to have 'free will'? even for that matter have predestination. As Ramesh says: "Within the whole process of evolution, individuals are really quite irrelevant except as impersonal instruments through which the process itself takes place."
When I think about many of the events in my life, I can see quite clearly, in retrospect, that it was never 'me' that was orchestrating the events and that I was only an instrument. For example, the idea, to build the Temple of all Faiths in all its many details I knew even then was guidance from the Source or Consciousness. Sai Baba's teachings about the unity of all faiths had been the initial inspiration, but I had not met a single interfaith person before I was guided to build the temple and to invite ministers of the different religions to the inaugural ceremony to pray together in peace and harmony. It is not as if I had even previously heard of such a multi-faith event happening. All the many synchronicities and details of sacred geometry in which the temple was built, which I had absolutely no clue about, I can see now were obviously 'Consciousness, or the Source in thought and action. All of it 'had to happen, and happened.
Ramesh Balsekar says " The fact of the matter is: it is His Will which has always prevailed; it is His Will which is now prevailing; and it is His Will which will prevail in the future. That is a fact. The longer it takes one to accept that fact, the longer will one suffer. " But even that concept is a thought in dualism, as if worshipper and one who is worshipped is separate. There is no separation, even if we think there is. "All there is, is Consciousness" I will conclude with a final statement by Ramesh Balsekar: " You have considered yourself to be a separate 'self' only because of having regarded a 'solid' object with a name, that is the body, as yourself. But in fact the body itself is nothing but an insignificant, vastly intricate complex of electrical wave patterns, a series of rhythmic functions, a throbbing field of energy, and emptiness. What you actually are, then, is what everybody else is: Sentience itself. Therefore, instead of being a puny self by way of an object, you are indeed everything"
MARIA JORY
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